A Little Break

I was so excited for this weekend because it was Stake Conference for us. I knew that we would have some general authorities in attendance and I was excited and eager to hear what they had to tell us. We attended the Saturday evening session of Stake Conference in our Stake Center with three of our children. It was a wonderful evening, richly filled with the Spirit. We were excited about the things that we had heard and been taught. That made us all the more excited for the Sunday session.

Due to the distance it takes for us to get to our Stake Center from our home we decided that we would attend conference by broadcast in our own building nearby. And of course when you think you have lots of time, you tend to use it up more quickly. We arrived only five minutes before the meeting started. It was a cool day – a little cooler than usual September weather. Inside the building was chilly and during the first half of the meeting I froze. 

During the intermediate hymn I decided to go get a lap blanket which I use for Cubs. It was I stored in my Cub cupboard. To get to this cupboard one has to walk over the baptismal font and then turn on the light so they can see, and then I can see in the cupboard to get what I need. In our building we have a false floor over the baptismal font. As I stepped into the area I simply trusted that the false floor was in place. It was dark because the light switch is on the other side and as I stepped in the floor was not there and I fell down into the font and banged my shoulder and ribs on the far side of the stairwell leading down into the font. The first thing that crossed my mind was gratitude that there was no water in the font. It's funny that that was my first thought. The second thing that came into my mind was gratitude that I could get up. I walked up the stairs turned on the light, got the blanket and then turned around realized that to get out I had to go through the front again or the men's washroom which wasn't an option because the building was in use. My arm was hurting terribly but I stepee down one step and then use my arm to support me and pull myself up out of the font and back up into the back of the chapel. This back a portion was closed off for the meeting so nobody saw or heard what had happened. However, for some reason Myles walked through there just as I was coming out. He took the blanket from me which was too heavy for me to carry without pain and watched over me was he guided me back to my seat. I requested Chad to go and lock the font area up so that nobody else could fall as I had. 

There was so much good counsel and direction given during the last half of that meeting. I wish that I had felt up to taking notes because there were many things I would have liked to have written down. However I am blessed, for my children are diligent note takers and the principles and truths that were taught were recorded and our family will remember them.

Sunday night I requested a priesthood blessing and the priesthood power was invoked on my behalf.

Monday morning I decided I should go to the hospital just to be sure that nothing was seriously wrong. I had a great deal of pain in my left shoulder but only when I moved it. I was pretty sure nothing was broken and I was able to use my arm just fine as long as I didn't move my shoulder. So Monday morning I went into the hospital and had x-rays done. When the nurse asked me what I was taking for pain I realized how blessed I was, because it hadn't even occurred to me to take anything. While I knew I had a potentially serious injury, the pain was bearable. Everything checked out ok. They gave me a prescription to help with the inflammation and off I went.

I was able to use my hand just fine as I finished stitching the binding on the quilt I made for Alisha and Brandon. I found that it doesn't hurt to carry things, so I can cook. I can't lift my arm away from my body very well, but the range of motion is increasing each and every day. In fact, I am healing much quicker than I would have anticipated. 

Tuesday morning, I made jam without assistance and then did some crafting. While I need to take it easy for a while I am healing and that is a real blessing.

So when I have an experience, I always wonder, "What lessons can I learn from this experience?" 

The first thing I think of is faith. I had placed so much faith in the false floor being there that I never considered checking for it before stepping out over the font. Sometimes in life we place our faith in people. Placing faith in people is much like trusting the false floor that could easily be removed. While you can trust them to be there almost all of the time, one day they might say or do something that is not consistent with what you always expected from them. We are mortal. We make mistakes. And while most of us would never choose to not be there for a friend or loved one when they most need us, sometimes because of our own hardships and challenges or simply our imperfections, we are not able to be there to the degree that others expect us to be. This lets them down. The relationship can crumble and it is much like falling into a hole in the floor. It is painful and it is hard to get back up and then you have to learn to trust that relationship all over again. I know that if I have to walk into that area again I will most certainly test the floor for support first before I place my weight thereon. 

The second thing I am reminded of is light. I was walking in the dark. Had I had enough light to see, I never would have fallen. Well this is just one of those freak accidents that we all experience at one time or another in our lives, but there is a principle here that can help us avoid heart ache. That principle is that if we choose to walk in darkness we will fall. Had I judged my environment as too dark I may never have gone in there. But it was dark, too dark to see the floor or lack of it. I thought I had enough light to see but I could not see the obstacle before me. If we choose to walk in spiritually dark places we can be assured that we will stumble and we will fall. I was blessed in that I could get up and turn on the light and illuminate my surroundings. But if we fall hard enough, it becomes literally impossible for us to turn the light of Christ back on in our lives without the assistance and support of a loving priesthood leader.

My experience is not yet over. But I am thankful for the reminder that this experience gives me to place my faith and trust in something that will never fail – even my Savior, Jesus Christ. Being able to trust Him fills my heart with joy and gladness. I am also thankful for the reminder to keep light in my life, even the light of the Savior. As I look to him, my path can be illuminated before me. I can avoid the spiritual pits, traps, and stumbling blocks that have been so cunningly placed to trap or ensnare me. I know that if I ever find myself caught in such a trap, I can turn to the light of Christ through repentance and forgiveness and I can be free and liberated from misery and wo. It brings me great joy to revel in my Savior, Jesus Christ and all that He has done for me. I am blessed with daily reminders of His love. It is there whether in times that are good or whether in times that are bad. I feel His love and I know that He is there helping me along, encouraging and supporting me. And my heart overflows with joy.

A Little Bit of House Keeping

I have never considered myself to be a great housekeeper. Regardless of whether it is or is not one of my talents, I love being surrounded by cleanliness.  This morning I had some time to spend cleaning and organizing, dejunking and decluttering. While there was certainly more I could have done in that room, after only an hour of cleaning, I could feel a palpable difference in the aura of the room. It felt great!

As I pondered the difference in the feeling of the room, I recognized in the experience the truth that is affirmed and reaffirmed daily in so many things around me. That truth is that there is a constant need to spiritually clean, organize and de-junk negativity from our lives. 

Have you ever noticed how, after a week of coming and going, that a room will take on a cluttered almost unkempt look? If it continues on longer, the room can get downright overwhelming! I think our spirits are like that too. As we go about our days, interacting, we pick up feelings and emotions from our experiences with others, that sometimes we choose to carry around. At first we don't notice them there, but left unchecked, they can become overwhelming and at that point we no longer know where to begin to get rid of them. Often we are tempted to point fingers at others... "Why did you...?" .... rather than taking the responsibility of carrying them around ourselves. Truly, nobody makes us carry around their baggage, if we get some from them, it is by our own choice whether we are conscious of it or not.  OK, you get the idea, I could probably go on for a bit about that whole cluttering our souls process. 

If we choose to declutter our lives regularly, it will never get as overwhelming as it could (and trust me, you don't want to know how overwhelming it is possible for life to get). Dejunking spiritually is a daily process. It is a process that we are very much in charge of. Some will say that they have to work through a problem, and you can sense in their reasoning a desire to hang onto the problem for whatever reasons.. injustice, hurt feelings, etc. However, in that reasoning, there is no decision made to GET THROUGH the problem. Spiritual housekeeping requires a personal commitment to get rid of it, to throw it out, to LET IT GO! Only by deciding to get rid of junk will we clean out our garages and storage rooms that are packed with generations of boxes, trinkets and useless nick-nacks. Spiritually cleaning also requires decisive action, to be rid of negative influences in our lives. 

So how do you box up unwanted issues and get rid of them, and seriously, what second hand store wants those kinds of things!? Believe it or not there are answers to both questions.

 First of all, spiritual cleanliness is reached through 1) repentance and 2) forgiveness. We have to be willing to take upon ourselves responsibility for our own actions, do all we can to resolve them, learn from our mistakes and become a better person from the things we have experienced. At that point the issue is ready to be boxed up and given away. You don't ever have to open that box again, but it has to be given to the right person, because nobody else will take it and keep it for you - nope the wrong person will always bring it back. So who is the right person? The only One that can take your burdens and problems from you, is your Savior, Jesus Christ. As you complete the repentance process, you will tangibly feel His love and peace fill your heart. That is right, He takes your burden from you, and then He fills you with serenity and love... He doesn't just leave you empty! This is an indescribable process. When you clean a room, you might wonder, "How in the world, does this room FEEL so different? It is the same room. It is the same size. It has the same amount of light on. What makes it FEEL different?" I, personally, cannot explain why a room feels so much better after it has been tidied up, but I KNOW that it does just as I know that repentance does the same thing for our spirits.

The second part of reaching spiritual cleanliness comes from not only receiving God's forgiveness, but by extending it to others. You will never have that light, happy, peaceful feeling of good spiritual housekeeping if you have been harbouring heavy, dirty, grudges in your heart toward others (including God). You know, by our measure, sometimes, people just don't seem to deserve our forgiveness. But don't fall into the trap of deciding who deserves and who doesn't. God said that all mankind deserve to receive the forgiveness of each other. God alone will decide who is forgiven and who is not... and I might add, He is VERY, VERY generous in extending forgiveness. I once read a book in which the author asked the question, "Is God more worried about the sin, or about what you learned from the mistake you made?" I believe that He is most concerned about the lessons we learn from our mistakes. A person who has learned his lesson, turned from sin, and become a better person should NEVER be judged a sinner by another. When it comes down to it, we are not authorized to even determine if a person has become better. We are only authorized to forgive. To let it go. This too is a conscious decision, but if your heart is not listening to you when you make the decision, your housekeeping is not complete. ONLY when your heart is consistent with feelings of love and forgiveness for others, can you be completely rid of that spiritual clutter. I know, that even those who are not remorseful, can be forgiven AND it feels WONDERFUL to forgive them. Again, it is a burden you can package up and, given to Christ, you will never have to pick it up again. Nobody else can ease the weight of such garbage from your soul even if you THINK you have given it away.

When my home is clean I can truly relax, I am happy and my heart is light. I love to sit in a quiet, peaceful room that sparkles and just absorb the wonderful feeling that encompasses it. Even as wonderful as this physical experience is, the feeling of cleaning the soul, taking out the garbage and knowing that it will be collected through the mercy of the Atoneing One, is a feeling that is exponentially better. The JOY that fills the soul of one who declutters, dejunks, and cleans out the corners, is truly desirable.

Another Year

What a beautiful time of year. As a child I always favored the idea of being married in the spring. As I look back, however, now celebrating an anniversary in the fall, I can't help but be grateful or this time of year. This is the time of the harvest. The Lord has taught us that whatsoever we should sow, that will we also reap. This year we celebrate 23 years of marriage. It is hard to believe so many years have passed! They have been good years, laced with the challenges of life, yet it is those very challenges we have faced that have yielded the fruits of a strong marriage: serenity, unity, peace, strength and increased love. Without the challenges, the increase in the yield of the fruits of a strong marriage would have been less.

So this year my cup is full even to running over. The harvest is great and my joy is overflowing. I am so very grateful for a good husband who has never failed to support me in my many endeavors and projects. He has permitted me to stay at home with the kids... the place that I have been able to do my greatest work. He values my views as I do his and this allows us to counsel together in ways that we can share our unique views and ultimately come up with solutions to our concerns. We read together and study together and by so doing we learn and grow together. We feel safe and secure sharing our thoughts and insights with one another. To me, this is the becoming one that The Lord commanded of Adam and Eve. I am so grateful for my marriage and anticipate greater growth and love to continue to bear fruit.... even eternal fruit that will bind not just our hearts together but also our souls.

This year we have celebrated once again with a camping trip. It has been a beautiful and peaceful time. The food has been good, the weather a little cool but very enjoyable and our lodging... one of our own choice consisted of our 13 man tent this year. It is like having a little house in the mountains. Big enough to set up a table, cots, chairs and bed. It has given us a cozy and secure little place to take refuge from the rain... and the rain has been perfect! Just enough to create that peaceful lulling on the walls of the tent with no threat of penetrating the nylon fabric.

I am so thankful for the institution of marriage. I have learned some of life's greatest lessons I this school! I have found my dearest friend and from our union, we have been blessed with 8 of the sweetest children a parent could desire. The Lord has been so very good to us.