Nearly 6 weeks ago now, Chad's father had a series of 3 strokes that left him completely paralyzed on the left side. Strokes, prior to that, were something we knew relatively little about. We have learned a lot in the six weeks that have followed. Our education began with a visit the next day to the bedside of our father. He was hard to understand, and understandably upset about what had happened to him. Chad never left his side. We talked to doctors and nurses and learned as much as we could about the diagnosis, but since a person can recover from a stroke over time, nothing definite could be promised.
A stroke, in this case, was caused by a blood clot that traveled to the brain. Once in the brain it prevented blood flow from reaching specific portions of the brain and the brain then quit communicating with the portions of the body that were affected. Swallowing, talking and balance were all things that had to be relearned.
We live in a small rural area. When very serious things like this happen, a person is taken to a larger center with all the specialized equipment and personnel. To visit requires a 3-4 hour drive one way. Making that trip weekly, has been a large part of our busyness this fall. We usually take 2-4 days at a time to make the trip. We have had lots of help and assistance in doing this. Chad has been very concerned about his dad, and keeps a close eye on his progress. He has given him special blessings and always has an encouraging word to offer especially when his father is discouraged and disheartened.
As we have watched the slow, slow recovery, (which is still in progress) we have been impressed with a few things. First thing we noticed was how much dads mood had improved. He seemed relatively happy, and genuinely appreciative of all that everyone was doing for him. It was wonderful to see the sensitive side of him emerge. We loved it, and couldn't get enough of it! Chad has outdone himself when it comes to showing how much he is willing to do for his dad as well as him mom for that matter. What a special man. A second thing that we noticed, was that because of our consistently making ourselves available to their needs, both parents have come to rely on us more than ever before. Chad receives lots of phone calls from his mom asking for help or advice, or just when she needs a shoulder to cry on. Chad is always willing to listen.
To some it might be hard to find this experience a blessing, but I have come to see it as a great blessing. It has brought the family together in a way that nothing else could. It has helped us put our problems in perspective, and serve one another better. It has brought out the sensitive side in a man whom I had never previously thought to be sensitive of others - ever! I have loved getting to know this part of him. I wonder, if there are portions inside each of us that we lock away from others for whatever reasons. If we were to let out those truly caring feelings, how much better would life be for us, and how much better could we make life for others!?! What an inspiring thought!!! There is no shame in feeling and expressing genuine caring and concern for others! Ever!!! Oh, some will look at a caring person and classify them as nosy or a busy body, but REALLY! What a wonderful show of love for each other!
I have also wondered if sometimes we live like we've had a spiritual stroke. Does Heavenly Father have to repeatedly send us reminders of His presence, of His love and of Him desire to bless us before we finally get the message and let Him in? If we allow spiritual portions of our being to be paralyzed, if we don't relearn how to recognize the needs of our spirits, are we not figuratively in a spiritual wheelchair, dependent upon others to guide us and direct us? Who will do that for us? I know that the adversary is MORE than willing to do the job! In a state of spiritual paralysis, what or who is going to stop him.
I have learned a lot over the last few weeks. The blessings in the situation far outweigh any sacrifices we have made. We are so grateful to still have dad with us, and to see him progressing and improving - even though it is still very slow. It has been a delight and a joy to get to know him now, for he has been truly humbled and hopefully we are a little more humble as well. Our prayer is that he will recover enough to go home....
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