Growing in Grace and Joy

This year we began where we left off. 

Last summer we built a shop - something we have planned to do for a long time. We even sacrificed our summer holidays to get it done, and we are so thankful to have it up and closed in. There is plenty of work still to do inside, but that is a story for another day.

This is what it looks like right now.

Part of preparing to put the shop in was the need to both lower and level the ground. It sits where our old greenhouse once was and the soil was good topsoil, so we dug it down and moved it all to a new location. 

This photo shows the water collecting after rain where
we had begun to dig the dirt out... we did quite a bit more after this.

To the east we had a row of trees that were encroaching on the fence, so not only were we building a shop, but we also had a half dozen trees to take down. We don't currently have a working chainsaw, so we took them down with a bow saw. We had one left to do this spring, so this week, the two of us went out with our trusty saw and a rope to direct the tree in its fall we cut....

TIMBER!!!

It landed right where we wanted it. 

I love trees so much that it almost hurt to take down the last one. It was so tall, green, and beautiful, but one thing I love about these particular trees is that they sucker. That is not a trait I usually appreciate in trees, but with these being so close to the fence, we now have a few baby trees growing up from the roots - the next generation if you will. Since they grow so fast, it won't be long before we have more beautiful trees, but we will put them in locations that we can better enjoy.

Our first little sucker...

I think people are a lot like trees. This little sucker is leaning and has a few leaves that are damaged, and I'm not sure but what it didn't get stepped on a couple of times as we cut down that last big tree. Yet, I have seen these little trees grow into amazing plants, just as tall and majestic and functional as their parent trees. I recently came across the term "errant valiant" referring to people who may be in a state of confusion at this time in their lives, but it doesn't change how valiant they were when still living in God's presence. He sees us for how valiant He knows us to be and for what we can become. While we may still be struggling to grow, to get our roots down securely and reach for the sky, He sees us as the beautiful trees we will one day be. I love how this helps me think of even those who judge me or who I find hard to be around still as one of God's valiant, beloved souls. 

It is so important to keep the ax of sharp words, unkind acts, or judgment from the tender trunks of God's trees... rather, let us nurture one another with love and grace. We can allow for mistakes without passing judgment, and instead support and encourage the change that helps us reach toward heaven as we grow into the mature and strong trees we are meant to be. Jesus gives us grace, and we in turn can do so much good, and spread so much joy, by give grace to others.

Life is Still Good

 So I am going to try to once again to visit this space of joy often. Life has been good since my last post. I have been richly, richly blessed by the hand of the Lord in my life. Not everything in my life is ideal. There are deep sorrows and losses that I mourn over daily, but I have been blessed through it all, or maybe in spite of it all. I enjoy a level of happiness one might not expect in such circumstances. Of course, I’m not happy over those losses and challenges, but there are so many joys in between, and around them that I would be ungrateful if I chose to be miserable and unhappy.

First of all, there are my children. They’ve all grown and left home now, and for the most part, they are doing well! We have been able to help with projects, babysit, enjoy family gatherings, and get together‘s. We’ve celebrated birthdays, graduations, weddings, and more. Just this year we have welcomed two more wonderful grandchildren. It brings such joy to my heart to hear those little voices say Grandma or Grandpa. We have amazing telephone conversations with our two-year-old granddaughters. One speaks very well and tells us all about her day and the other is still learning, but carries is on a full-blown conversation in her own dialect, complete with inflection and complete confidence in what she is saying. I love snuggling the babies and playing with the older children. I love visiting with my grown children and hearing about their struggles and their triumphs. I love to see the projects that they are involved in and hear about their days. Yes, I even love helping with homework when needed. I think it is safe to say that we support each other to the best of our ability and I’m so grateful that we can give one another the grace to make mistakes but still love deeply.

Secondly, I am so grateful for the Church of Jesus, Christ of latter day, Saints. I have had opportunity to serve in different capacities within this wonderful organization where we are striving to be better, practicing living like Jesus, of loving him more and trying to follow him. I have met people that I would not have met without those interactions. One calling that I absolutely love is serving in the temple twice a month. I love the temple. It has an atmosphere of complete and absolute love and acceptance. I learn so much about what it feels like to love like Christ when I am there. And I get to practice as I help others learn and experience that wonderful spirit of love. I love that the temple invites me to get to know my family better. It always drives me back to researching family history, recording life stories, cataloging photographs, and sharing memories. It feels so good to build that familiarity with my blood relations even though they may be long since gone. Another calling, that I am very involved in is working in the Relief Society within our ward. I love teaching the gospel, and I love listening to the prophets. In Relief Society, we get to teach the words of our prophet and ponder how his counsel can draw us closer to our Savior, Jesus Christ. President Nelson encourages us to emulate the example of Christ and has invited us to be peacemakers, to have greater Charity, and to end the conflict in our hearts. I get to teach these messages on the Sabbath, I get to lead discussions on strengthening families once a month and I get to participate every week in a study group where we consider the words of our prophets and how they apply to our lives right now. I get to work with some of the choicest women on the earth whose hearts are golden. I love them so much and I am so thankful for their friendship and love.

Third, I am so grateful for technology. I have discovered some podcasts which I listen to while I work cleaning early in the mornings and some of the people on those podcasts have begun to feel like friends. And they have taught me the gospel and helped me draw closer to my Savior, Jesus Christ on a more personal level. They have inspired me, no matter what I am feeling – especially when I am struggling, I know I can talk to Jesus about it and he will listen. Technology also helps me study the gospel, set goals, and improve myself. I am blessed to own a device that allows me to write notes, illustrate, and plan my time and it not only keeps me organized, but focused on the things that matter most. 

  

  

I could go on. I am grateful for so many other things. Over this last year and a half we have been blessed with health, work, increased testimony and faith, with peace, joy, and happiness. We have been blessed with new friends as well as the connection with old friends. We have been blessed to further improve our property, to produce our own food, and to have enough and to spare. We have been led by people who teach us new skills. One example being over the last year we have been learning how conflict can actually be a blessing in life. I can share more on that in another post, but I have always feared conflict and avoided it. It is liberating to understand that it can actually be a catalyst for greater connection in relationships. Who knew?!!!

Laced through it all are the challenges which are most certainly present. There is a host of them… uncertainty, loss, lack of time, fatigue, pain… feeling withdrawl of others, feeling judged or criticized, feeling threatened, struggles with worth and value, staying motivated, staying awake, juggling schedules, meeting commitments, expectations, ageing parents and even our own aging bodies. But I want you to know that Jesus has been in it with us and because he is there we rise above these things… Not all at once, but because he is there, we trust him to guide us through each challenge. And he does for some of them, and for others, he strengthens us to hold on a little longer, and trust his timing and knowledge. Waiting is probably the hardest road to walk especially when you’re waiting for a desired blessing, but I know that even through the wait, joy can be found for I have found it.

So Much to be Grateful For

 The last couple of weeks have been full and rich! In the last general conference President Russell M Nelson challenged us to increase in faith and to use that faith to move the mountains in our lives.

“My call to you is to start today to INCREASE YOUR FAITH. Through your faith Jesus Christ will increase your ability to move the mountains in your life. BECOME AN ENGAGED LEARNER. IMMERSE YOURSELF IN THE SCRIPTURES to understand better Christ’s mission and ministry. KNOW THE DOCTRINE of Christ so that you understand its power for your life. INTERNALIZE THE TRUTH that the Atonement of Jesus Christ applies to you.

“He provided the power for you to MOVE EVERY MOUNTAIN you will ever face. You obtain that power with your faith, trust and willingness to follow Him. Moving your mountains may require miracles. LEARN ABOUT MIRACLES. Miracles come according to your faith in the Lord. The more you learn about the Savior the easier it will be for you to TRUST IN HIS MERCY, His infinite love, and His strengthening, healing, and redeeming power.

“THE SAVIOR IS NEVER CLOSER TO YOU THAN WHEN YOU ARE FACING OR CLIMBING A MOUNTAIN WITH FAITH.”

I love this so much!!! It encourages me deeply and I am truly seeking to learn to exercise greater faith in the power of the Atonement of my Savior, Jesus Christ.... and He is helping me. 

A couple of weeks ago I came upon a course on the internet that resonated so deeply with me, I purchased it on the spot. Now typically I am not an impulse buyer, but I am now about 30% though this course and I haven’t regretted the purchase yet!!! I have been teaching what I have been learning to my family members and they too are finding ways to implement those same things into their lives. What is the course you ask? It is found on the site https://learndobecome.com/step Through it I am learning principles of organization that influence not only my home, but also my emotional energy. I have had greater energy, increased enthusiasm for learning, greater purpose in doing the little things I once thought mundane chores, and I thrill at purging the excess ‘stuff’ from my brain and from my home. It has literally lit me up! Every day I thank my Father in Heaven for guiding me to learn how to overcome a mountain I didn’t even recognize in my life.

Let me share my first big project... an elimination of piles in my office workspace. I haven’t finished yet, but this is what I started with... 

And this is what it looks like midway through the project... [I will try to remember to update this post with an after picture when I finish the room.]

It actually could be worse... but I have so much stuff filling this small space, that it is a little bit stifling. In the two weeks since I started I have cleared out 4 bags of shredded paper, donated extra office supplies, and contributed piles and piles of paper to the recycle bin in our community. It feels GREAT! Now, here is the real beauty. Since I have gotten rid of so much excess in my home, my mind is clearer and I am enjoying my daily activities so much more! I approach dejunking with enthusiasm that I have lacked for years. The mountain of STUFF requires faith because it is otherwise overwhelming and shuts down my energy and desire to even tackle it. You see... God really is helping me.

This past week I was asked to help with cleaning out the belongings of a dear family member who has moved from their home into a long term care arrangement. I know, without any doubt, that it is because of the principles I am learning in this course that I was able to do that work without overwhelm AND to my delight my soul literally brimmed with joy all that day! Perhaps that is a miracle in my life.

I am so grateful for a prophet that challenges me to stretch and learn and do so that I can become better. This process is so joyful and I commend it to any who desire personal improvement and clarity in their own lives. God bless you in your efforts... it requires diligent work, but it is so very worth everything you sacrifice in the end.

Finally - A Wedding Reception

Last fall our family grew by one - a fun-loving young man by the name of Josh. He is perfect for our daughter and we were excited even when they eloped. I mean, who can blame them? The restrictions made gathering for a wedding nearly impossible... however, all this time we have been waiting for an opportunity to celebrate with them in a more public way... A date was chosen, the day after they would go to the temple and have their marriage sealed [preserved for not just time but also for eternity by the power of God which is on the earth]. The plan was for a drive-by reception to follow in Josh's hometown.

The week prior was filled with lots of preparations and planning, lots of phone calls and pictures, and it was so fun to have that common goal drawing family members together. Friday night we had 9 people gather at the temple for the preparatory teaching and sealing ordinances. It was so wonderful to be in the Holy House of the Lord once again. It is a place of love and peace and I have missed it so much [it has been closed for much of the pandemic]. It was extra special to be there surrounded by beloved family members. Melodee was beautiful and Josh radiant. I was delighted beyond expression when I realized that it would be light enough outside still for photos of all who had attended and then add to that delight, a surprise visit from another daughter and her husband and children. They had made the one-hour drive after their children's bedtimes just so that they could be there when Josh and Melodee came out of the temple. What a joy it was to have them there and since the restrictions had lifted to 20 outdoors, we never went over the limit. So many blessings in such a short period of time.

Saturday dawned bright and sunny, but it was still chilly and there was a wind that made decorating the arch a little complicated... however, we persevered as the parents, and we got it looking beautiful. Chad helped me secure the wisteria across the arch as a finishing touch. When the appointed time arrived we were basically ready. Flowers were distributed, and boutonnieres pinned on the men. What a good-looking bunch of young people. Melodee had her aunt and her sister stand with her. One special part of the day was the arrival of Melodee's grandma, who, because of health, doesn't get out much anymore. She was so thrilled to be there. It was a great morning, topped off with a carriage ride for the newlyweds through town. Josh's family then gathered for a meal. [The family dinner was done in two parts to stay within the allotted numbers currently outlined.] Later that evening, Melodee's side gathered for a meal at her grandparents' farm. It was another nice evening and an added blessing was the easing of the wind as the day progressed. They got lots of pictures and it feels like we at least had an appropriate celebration in their honour. 

 

 

 

It is hard getting married during a pandemic! It has been a process of over 6 months, but they no longer have to hold space for some unknown date to celebrate with their loved ones. It has been a complete joy to meet and associate with Josh's family a little more - they are such good people - and to feel the energy of the newlyweds as they embrace life with enthusiasm and eagerness.

So Many Little Things

 So... here I am once again... life has been so busy that blogging has all but stopped which is obvious in the frequency of my posts as of late.... but there is still joy, through it all and it is time to share it again. Publicly for the world if they care to know, for the skeptic and the supporter alike, this blog is a place of unguarded truth, joy and love... yes, love for every person in my life, and you my reader, whether a spectator or participant are invited into my life. I love your presence and the quality it offers to me and the world around me.

So much has happened since my last post - a worldwide pandemic stretching into years rather than just months, graduations, weddings, family celebrations all being affected by the careful considerations of those monitoring the situation - and we trust that they have been acting in our best interest. I have had lots of doubts through it all, but in the end I found that the conspiracy theories, and doubt-sayers actually contribute far too much to fear, building it and feeding it.  I will NOT live in fear... so I have chosen to try FAITH as an antidote to the fears that surfaced initially. It has been a great blessing, and peace has been restored to my soul. But it has still been hard.

Let me back up to the beginning... when the pandemic was first declared it was only weeks following the funeral of my younger sister who died unexpectedly and suddenly. She and I had mended fences and were beginning to make plans to do great things together, so the loss was especially hard to bear. Even now, over a year later, I can’t help but selfishly wish she were still with us. I am certain though that those great things we were going to engage in together, will still occur at some point in the future because of the glorious plan of our Father in Heaven, God over the earth. He is my purest source of joy. 

Anyway, 10 days after her funeral the world stopped in its tracks, ground to a halt by the COVID pandemic. At first I felt fear. It was portrayed as extremely deadly and contagious. Work changed - suddenly there were no students left in the schools, the hallways echoed and there was nobody left to clean up behind. It felt like the Pied Piper had come and played his magical flute and taken them all away. It was eerie, but the numbers began to show truth... perhaps, though contagious, it wasn’t deadly for as many as it was initially thought. But through it all I have been overwhelmingly blessed... I have had consistent work with no interruptions.

My son returned home from serving a 2 year mission in England 2 months after we were shut down. I consider it a great blessing that he was able to get home without complication. The airport was hauntingly empty when we picked him up. We quarantined with him for the required two weeks and enjoyed a building project together in our back yard. He painted with the air sprayer and shared his stories and experiences with us. It was a sweet time - one of those blessings amidst a storm. Life was quieter, and lent to sweeter experiences with family.

One particularly wonderful experience was the graduation of my second youngest daughter. With school shut down, graduation as we knew it in previous years was not happening. Outdoor gatherings were still permitted and so the then 12 of us gathered for a graduation celebration. We had a banquet in the back yard in formal attire followed by the graduation ceremonies complete with a guest speaker, MC, class history, prediction, and a valedictory speech. Every person present had a part in the program and it was fun, and light and a joy to pull together at such a time as this. I never realized just how much fun such a small, intimate gathering could be. It was by far, the best graduation ceremony I have ever attended.

The pandemic continued, at alarming rates around the world, but in our little rural community we were largely untouched. July brought a new addition to the family, a wee baby girl came to the home of our Naomi. I was blessed to spend some time helping out and bonding with this special spirit that has joined our family. As she has grown, one of her greatest gifts is an extra ready big smile. Now, I know, most babies smile but this little one, since she was 4 months old, has been separated from us personally by the measures put in place to curb the spread of the virus. So we have had many video calls, and every single time we visit with her, she has a smile - she lights up - and it is a joy to see. I am so thankful for the technology that has fostered in person relationships to grow and continue during this time of separateness we have endured (and continue to endure).

In the fall of 2020 our family grew again. This time a new son-in-law joined us. The restrictions then in place made wedding gatherings nearly impossible, and so they eloped. We were permitted a 10 person wedding reception - which was essentially a family dinner with the bride and groom, their parents, one set of grandparents and an aunt who doubled as the photographer. But is was a sweet relaxed gathering. A welcoming and connecting we might have missed out on in a larger setting. Life does indeed go on, even in a pandemic.

Christmas was shadowed with even stronger restrictions, and simply wasn’t what we had anticipated but we did what we could to pull together. We had a family Kahoot game which was actually a lot of fun when it worked, but we had to give up on it Christmas Day because the program would not run - apparently many families were thinking along the same lines as we had been. We did it on boxing day with great success. We also had a family gingerbread house decorating contest. Submissions were done by zoom and I loved how creative everybody got. There were good memories, even though it wasn’t what we had originally hoped for.

The new year brought hope. Hope that life can resume, but also anticipation for the blessings and opportunities that would surface in the months ahead. First of all we had yet another addition to our family. Another sweet granddaughter. I was thankful to be able to spend a couple of days helping as mom and babe adjusted to a newborn schedule. One morning, early, I heard my grandson wake up. He and I played together in the dark before the sun rose making shadow puppets on the wall, looking at pictures on the iPad, and playing finger games. It was a blessing to have that time together - especially in a time of separation imposed upon us.

In February the temple opened a crack... meaning, it was open on a very limited basis to a very small number of people. My nearly 19 year old daughter was in the midst of missionary preparation. She had received her call to the Canada Montreal Mission and was to report to the MTC the first week of April. When we received word that the temple had opened for first time patrons, we jumped at the opportunity to go. Nearly 1 year to the day, Chad and I and several of our children were able to return to the temple with our missionary daughter. The temple is a sacred place - a house dedicated to God himself - where we go for instruction. We are taught about the great plan of our Father in Heaven to save His precious children - all of them if they will let Him. We are given opportunities to make commitments to Him to assist Him in His work and to improve ourselves. As such, the temple is a very important part of our lives, a place to reconnect with heaven on a higher level. I am so thankful for the temple. That experience was so special as we went together as a family of 12 (that was the maximum we were allowed). It was so sweet to be there in the temple surrounded by loved ones, as we learned about being a truly forever family.

Only two weeks after that sweet family experience we lost my father-in-law. It was a hard time as COVID pretty much eliminated the possibility of a funeral. Twenty people were permitted to gather at the funeral home to bid their last respects. That is a hard thing to manage. To keep the numbers within the limits when there are so many family members that NEED to say goodbye, and to feel support and love from one another, not to mention longtime friends and extended family.

About that same time my back went out - bad! It hurt to walk. I had pain shooting up and down my leg, and I couldn’t sit with my legs crossed or lay on either side. I got help, but still struggled and it has taken a couple of months to finally be able to sit cross legged again! There are still days that it hurts. Only a couple of weeks ago my metatarsal arch fell - again, very painful... but the BLESSINGS!!! We were once again shut down by COVID restrictions, and my co-worker went out of her way to help me and lighten my load. I have had an opportunity to return the favor when she hurt herself and worked with a great deal of rib pain. I am so grateful for my health - even when it would seem age is beginning to have an impact on my activities.

In April my daughter had her mission training via zoom in our home. It was a special time as she shared with us at the end of each day the things she was learning. It strengthened us all I think and it was a blessing to be there with her in the Missionary Training Center online - an opportunity and a privilege not granted to many parents of missionaries in the past. She flew out to Montreal April 27 and is filled with enthusiasm for the gospel of Jesus Christ which she is sharing with anyone who is interested in learning more. It is a great source of JOY. I see it in her face each week since then as we visit with her. The blessing of coming the Jesus Christ is peace, joy, love and so much more. He can make us into so much more than we can make ourselves.

And so here we are... 14 months into a global pandemic. Has it been awful? I suppose in some ways, but it has been good in so many other ways. We have become more creative in our interactions with others - particularly family. We have found ways to build and strengthen each other that are different from what we used todo. We have begun what I believe will become new traditions. We have had an opportunity to slow down and reprioritize. We are learning to worship from home - a gift for the troubling times we live in as it may be in the future that we will not be able to easily gather in houses of worship... plus, as we worship from home, our homes are viewed differently - they become more holy. That brings joy every day because we are holier, in a holier place.

God is so good. He has blessed us so abundantly in so many little ways on top of the highlights I have shared. I have found Him in every single day of my life, and it amazed me and fills me with great joy.